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Roman Holiday by ~lydaclunas:iconlydaclunas:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Sonnet




The gypsies pick my pockets, pick my purse
Their clever fingers deftly, softly pressed
Against my skirted hip, my sweaty breasts;
On swelt’ring, crowded buses, tourists curse
And slap the hands of gypsies; none the worse
Are they for failed attempts to cheat their guests
They disappear like ghosts into the rest
Of those who guard their pockets, guard their purse
‘Gainst thieves on such a hot, unpleasant ride
‘Til I, a naïve trav’ler, turn my head
Then gypsies press up closer to my side;
Pretending not to notice hands that tread
Across my body; I will let them roam
For through their gestures, I am part of Rome.
©2004-2010 ~lydaclunas
:iconlydaclunas:

Author's Comments

A Petrarchan sonnet, inspired partially by my visit to Italy last summer. Criticisms welcome; I don't often write poetry, and these are surely far from perfect, but I knocked them off in a couple of days so I could submit them to a scholarship application (which requested poetry of "social vision", whatever that means) and a formal poetry contest. I wrote three and submitted them as a collection entitled "Prayers of Santa Chiara". I figured I might as well give it a shot.

Daily Deviation

Given 2006-04-17

Roman Holiday by ~lydaclunas is a simple observational piece cleverly crafted in a Petrarchan sonnet. (Featured by `imperfect)

Comments


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:iconsolacetiger:
~solacetiger Apr 9, 2004, 3:24:34 PM
i lied .... this is my favorite one... yes. :nod:

im way to tired to be commiunitcating properly. :*dies*
:iconlydaclunas:
~lydaclunas Apr 9, 2004, 6:28:19 PM
This is my favorite, too: it has the best form of the three, and I like the flow and the subject matter. It's the one I spent the most time on.

The other two aren't perfect sonnets; "Saints" has a line of 8 syllables and "Santa Chiara" has one of 9, so they don't make iambic pentameter all throughout. But I kind of like the slight and subtle variation, so I kept it.

"Roman Holiday" is what got entered into the strict formal poetry contest, though. :)

--
Teri
:iconitsmejesse:
~itsmejesse Apr 16, 2004, 3:56:41 PM
Cool... The mood of this one is hard to place, probably cause I'm tired. I like it a lot, whatever it is.

-Jesse out
:iconlydaclunas:
~lydaclunas Apr 17, 2004, 11:36:05 AM
Well, it's kind of... odd, so yeah, it's understandable if the mood is a bit hard to place. I just liked the idea of giving sexual overtones to pickpocketing. :) I'm glad you like it, though -- it's my personal favourite of the three.

--
Teri
:iconbrined-up:
~brined-up Apr 19, 2004, 3:04:18 PM
it's the feeling you get at a theme park these days, everyone is a gypsy or a tourist. wonderful sonnet.
:iconlydaclunas:
~lydaclunas Apr 19, 2004, 8:20:09 PM
Thank you.

It's very much how I felt whilst in Rome (which, in its own way, was quite like a theme park). Though I was never actually pickpocketed, I saw enough of the thieving gypsies near the churches and expecially on the buses. It's an experience to take a twenty-minute bus ride to the Vatican and see two or three seasoned tourists slap the pickpockets away as you cling to your own purse. At the same time, it's like you're missing out if you don't get at least a glimpse of *that* part of Rome.

--
Teri
:iconbrined-up:
~brined-up Apr 20, 2004, 6:10:47 AM
you really conveyed that idea well. i really felt like i was on that bus.
:iconlydaclunas:
~lydaclunas Apr 20, 2004, 2:37:04 PM
Thanks very much! :)

--
Teri
:iconscaryfairy:
~ScaryFairy Apr 16, 2006, 11:28:49 PM
Its really really cool! I'm amazed you've managed to fit the sonnet form so well, it doesn't seem forced anywhere to me! Congrats on the feature too!
:iconzebrazebrazebra:
~zebrazebrazebra Apr 17, 2006, 12:58:23 AM
This is quite possibly one of the most accomplished sonnets I've seen in quite a while - and it matches up very closely to my experiences of Rome too, enough to make me sniff the heat for just a second and go find the stone I picked up in the forum. There's a few punctuation things you could do to polish up the flow, I think, but nothing that could be done to improve the words - they're already spot on. Congratulations on your DD!
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